Taking a cue from Fox News and other Conservative media outlets that regularly just make shit up - like The Onion or Free Wood Post, but instead pretending what they make up is actually true - I’m going to start doing a series of Fox News-ish Mad Libs. I’ll take a story, replace a bunch of the words with blanks, and just let you make shit up yourself. It’ll be fun, and you can feel like a real Fox News journalist!
Here’s today’s and my first shot at this. Have fun!
TREASON: BREAKING News :Obama gave $500 MILLION For Weapons To __________________ (random terrorist group) Used On Our Four Dead Americans In Benghazi.
Benghazi attack could have been prevented if US hadn’t ‘______________________’ (any Obama policy) and allowed $________ MILLION of weapons to reach _____________ (random group) militants, reveals damning report.
_________________ (any real-sounding fake committee) on Benghazi claims the US government allowed arms to flow to al-Qaeda-linked militants who opposed ___________________ (random ousted or hate Arab leader). Their rise to power, the group says, led to the Benghazi attack in 2012. The group claims the strongman _____________________ (same Arab leader) offered to ______________ (fun verb) his presidency, but the US ______________________ (random potentially totally unrelated act). The commission, part of the center-right ______________________ (just make up some Right Wing Group, but make it sound official), concluded that the Benghazi attack was a _____________________ (just anything at all) and US Ambassador Chris Stevens was to be ______________ (exciting verb) and traded for ‘blind sheikh’ Omar Abdel-Rahman, who hatched the ___________________ (any terrorist incident or Obama policy) plot.
The _______________________ (same fake committee) on Benghazi, a self-selected group of former top _____________________, _______________ insiders (could be anybody you think sounds cool) and think-tankers, declared Tuesday in Washington that a _________ (does it matter?)-month review of the deadly 2012 terrorist attack has determined that it could have been prevented – if the U.S. _______________________ (anything you want here from Obama policy to something to do with Hillary Clinton’s hair).
‘The United States switched sides in the war on terror with what we did in ____________ (Arab country, knowingly facilitating the provision of weapons to known ____________ (random bad guys) militias and figures,’ ______________________ (random name of fake person, a member of the commission and a former ___________________________ (fake title), told MailOnline.
She blamed the Obama administration for failing to stop half of a $1 billion United Arab Emirates _________________ (noun) shipment from reaching al-Qaeda-linked militants.
‘Remember, these ______________ (plural noun) that came into Benghazi were permitted to enter by our _____________ (random group) who were blockading the approaches from air and sea,’ _____________ (name from earlier) claimed. ‘They were permitted to come in. … [They] knew these ___________ (plural noun) were coming in, and that was allowed..
‘The intelligence community was part of that, the Department of __________ (any department will do) was part of that, and certainly that means that the top leadership of the United States, our ________________ (official sounding office) leadership, and potentially Congress – if they were briefed on this – also knew about this.’
The weapons were intended for ________________ (Arab leader) but allowed by the U.S. to ___________ (exciting verb) to his Islamist opposition.
The White House and senior Congressional members,’ the group wrote in an interim report released Tuesday, ‘_____________ (random adverb) and _____________ (random adverb) pursued a policy that provided material support to ___________ (pick one) organizations in order to topple a ___________ (position of authority) who had been working closely with the West actively to suppress al-Qaeda.’
‘Some look at it as treason,’ said _________________ (name) , a former CIA ___________ (random position) who participated in the commission’s research.
Retired Rear Admiral ____________________ (name), another commission member, told reporters Tuesday that those weapons are now ‘__________________’ (random place or condition).
‘________________ (Arab leader) wasn’t a good guy, but he was being marginalized,’ he recalled. ‘He actually offered to abdicate’ shortly after the beginning of a _______________ (pick random event).
‘But the U.S. __________ (run verb) his calls for a truce,’ the commission wrote, ultimately backing the ______________ (event) that would later help kill a U.S. _______________ (authority position).
The Rear Admiral said that the effort at truce talks fell apart when ________________ (government official declined to let the _______________ (government agency) pursue it seriously.
‘We had a leader who had won the Nobel Peace Prize,’ he said, ‘but who was unwilling to give ___________________ (noun) a chance for 72 hours.’
________________ (Arab leader) wanted only two conditions to step down: permission to ____________________ (random activity) in the Islamic Maghreb, and the lifting of ___________________ (plural noun) against him, his family, and those loyal to him.
The ____________________ (random government office) did not immediately respond to questions about the group’s findings.
‘We don’t claim to have all the _____________ (plural noun) here,’ said ________________ (name), whose center-right group __________________________ (name of group) sponsored the group and its work.
‘We hope you will, please, __________ (verb) this,’ he told reporters. ‘Check it out. _________________ (fun verb) us.’
Fractures in conservative opposition to gay rights and even same-sex marriage have now widened to include the core of the right’s message machine, the Fox News Channel, where a cadre of younger voices have begun to defend same-sex relationships and even advocate openly for same-sex marriage.
The channel’s heterodox posture on gay rights comes despite Fox’s siding comfortably with mainstream Republican positions on other divisive social issues of the day, such as abortion and contraception.
But like the Republican Party, whose leaders have begun to step away from anti-gay positions that are deeply unpopular with younger voters, Fox appears to be feeling pressure both from its younger staff and key audience segments to reflect what polls suggest is a rapidly shifting consensus. And over the past year, Shepard Smith, the host of afternoon news show Studio B, has emerged as a vocal champion of same-sex marriage. After President Obama’s announcement in support of gay marriage, Smith looked into the camera said that the Republican Party was “on the wrong side of history” on the issue.
“In television people are worried about the demo,” said Margaret Hoover, a former Fox News contributor and former Bush administration staffer who left the network last year, referring to television advertisers preoccupation with viewers between 18 and 49. “‘Are you getting the demo?’ And the demo supports gay rights.”
Smith’s May marriage remarks provided a shock both to elements of Fox’s conservative audience and to liberals, whose enmity with Fox has only deepend through the Obama years.
“The president of the United States: now in the 21st century,” Smith said, and asked reporter Ed Henry: “I am curious whether you believe in this time of rising debt and medical issues and all the rest, if Republicans would go out on a limb and try to make this a campaign issue while sitting very firmly without much question on the wrong side of history.”
…Smith hasn’t stopped since then — quipping recently that “Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day” was “the national day of intolerance.” And he’s been joined by Megyn Kelly, while other voices on the network — John Stossel, Andrew Napolitano — have shied away from conservative dogma on gay marriage."
Maybe now they can also bring news to Fox News.
A Fox pundit, acting like a first grader.
i love how when they can’t use valid points to push back, they revert childish things. when will they say ‘my dad can beat up your dad’?
Fairleigh Dickinson University found last month that “some outlets, especially Fox News, lead people to be even less informed than those who say they don’t watch any news at all.”
“For example, people who watch Fox News, the most popular of the 24-hour cable news networks, are 18-points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government than those who watch no news at all (after controlling for other news sources, partisanship, education and other demographic factors),” they wrote. “Fox News watchers are also 6-points less likely to know that Syrians have not yet overthrown their government than those who watch no news.”