Taking a cue from Fox News and other Conservative media outlets that regularly just make shit up - like The Onion or Free Wood Post, but instead pretending what they make up is actually true - I’m going to start doing a series of Fox News-ish Mad Libs. I’ll take a story, replace a bunch of the words with blanks, and just let you make shit up yourself. It’ll be fun, and you can feel like a real Fox News journalist! Here’s today’s and my first shot at this. Have fun!

aljazeeraamerica:

Report: Obama drone policy destabilizing for world, US democracy

Drone technology and the way the United States uses it has the potential to destabilize battlefields, governments and even American democracy, according to a new report by a task force that includes former U.S. military officials.
The report, released by the Stimson Center, a Washington, D.C., think tank, surveyed the Obama administration’s use of drones and concluded that while they can be a powerful and effective force in wars, they can also interfere with the sovereignty of other nations and cause unnecessary conflict abroad. The report also suggested that the Obama administration’s secrecy surrounding U.S. drone programs is to blame for the public’s current misconceptions and fears about the aircraft, which are also called unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).

Read more

aljazeeraamerica:

Report: Obama drone policy destabilizing for world, US democracy

Drone technology and the way the United States uses it has the potential to destabilize battlefields, governments and even American democracy, according to a new report by a task force that includes former U.S. military officials.

The report, released by the Stimson Center, a Washington, D.C., think tank, surveyed the Obama administration’s use of drones and concluded that while they can be a powerful and effective force in wars, they can also interfere with the sovereignty of other nations and cause unnecessary conflict abroad. The report also suggested that the Obama administration’s secrecy surrounding U.S. drone programs is to blame for the public’s current misconceptions and fears about the aircraft, which are also called unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).

Read more

Benghazi Mad Libs - do news just like Fox News!

Taking a cue from Fox News and other Conservative media outlets that regularly just make shit up - like The Onion or Free Wood Post, but instead pretending what they make up is actually true - I’m going to start doing a series of Fox News-ish Mad Libs.  I’ll take a story, replace a bunch of the words with blanks, and just let you make shit up yourself.  It’ll be fun, and you can feel like a real Fox News journalist!

Here’s today’s and my first shot at this.  Have fun!

TREASON: BREAKING News :Obama gave $500 MILLION For Weapons To __________________ (random terrorist group) Used On Our Four Dead Americans In Benghazi.

The Benghazi Liars

Benghazi attack could have been prevented if US hadn’t ‘______________________’ (any Obama policy) and allowed $________ MILLION of weapons to reach _____________ (random group) militants, reveals damning report.

_________________ (any real-sounding fake committee) on Benghazi claims the US government allowed arms to flow to al-Qaeda-linked militants who opposed ___________________ (random ousted or hate Arab leader).   Their rise to power, the group says, led to the Benghazi attack in 2012.  The group claims the strongman _____________________ (same Arab leader) offered to ______________ (fun verb) his presidency, but the US ______________________ (random potentially totally unrelated act).  The commission, part of the center-right ______________________ (just make up some Right Wing Group, but make it sound official), concluded that the Benghazi attack was a _____________________ (just anything at all) and US Ambassador Chris Stevens was to be ______________ (exciting verb) and traded for ‘blind sheikh’ Omar Abdel-Rahman, who hatched the ___________________ (any terrorist incident or Obama policy) plot.

funding

The _______________________ (same fake committee) on Benghazi, a self-selected group of former top _____________________, _______________ insiders (could be anybody you think sounds cool) and think-tankers, declared Tuesday in Washington that a _________ (does it matter?)-month review of the deadly 2012 terrorist attack has determined that it could have been prevented – if the U.S. _______________________ (anything you want here from Obama policy to something to do with Hillary Clinton’s hair).

‘The United States switched sides in the war on terror with what we did in ____________ (Arab country, knowingly facilitating the provision of weapons to known ____________ (random bad guys) militias and figures,’ ______________________ (random name of fake person, a member of the commission and a former ___________________________ (fake title), told MailOnline.

She blamed the Obama administration for failing to stop half of a $1 billion United Arab Emirates _________________ (noun) shipment from reaching al-Qaeda-linked militants.

‘Remember, these ______________ (plural noun) that came into Benghazi were permitted to enter by our _____________ (random group) who were blockading the approaches from air and sea,’ _____________ (name from earlier) claimed. ‘They were permitted to come in. … [They] knew these ___________ (plural noun) were coming in, and that was allowed..

‘The intelligence community was part of that, the Department of __________ (any department will do) was part of that, and certainly that means that the top leadership of the United States, our ________________ (official sounding office) leadership, and potentially Congress – if they were briefed on this – also knew about this.’

The weapons were intended for ________________ (Arab leader) but allowed by the U.S. to ___________ (exciting verb) to his Islamist opposition.

article-2610598-1D4511C000000578-131_634x419

The White House and senior Congressional members,’ the group wrote in an interim report released Tuesday, ‘_____________ (random adverb) and _____________ (random adverb) pursued a policy that provided material support to ___________ (pick one) organizations in order to topple a ___________ (position of authority) who had been working closely with the West actively to suppress al-Qaeda.’

‘Some look at it as treason,’ said _________________ (name) , a former CIA ___________ (random position) who participated in the commission’s research.

Retired Rear Admiral ____________________ (name), another commission member, told reporters Tuesday that those weapons are now ‘__________________’ (random place or condition).

‘________________ (Arab leader) wasn’t a good guy, but he was being marginalized,’ he recalled. ‘He actually offered to abdicate’ shortly after the beginning of a _______________ (pick random event).

‘But the U.S. __________ (run verb) his calls for a truce,’ the commission wrote, ultimately backing the ______________ (event) that would later help kill a U.S. _______________ (authority position).

The Rear Admiral said that the effort at truce talks fell apart when ________________ (government official declined to let the _______________ (government agency) pursue it seriously.

‘We had a leader who had won the Nobel Peace Prize,’ he said, ‘but who was unwilling to give ___________________ (noun) a chance for 72 hours.’

article-2610598-1D4511C800000578-835_634x444

________________ (Arab leader) wanted only two conditions to step down: permission to ____________________ (random activity) in the Islamic Maghreb, and the lifting of ___________________ (plural noun) against him, his family, and those loyal to him.

The ____________________ (random government office) did not immediately respond to questions about the group’s findings.

‘We don’t claim to have all the _____________ (plural noun) here,’ said ________________ (name), whose center-right group __________________________ (name of group) sponsored the group and its work.

‘We hope you will, please, __________ (verb) this,’ he told reporters. ‘Check it out. _________________ (fun verb) us.’

Tags: selfie obama win

cognitivedissonance:

jackpowerx:

randycwhite:

thepoliticalfreakshow:

When Col. Harry Riley announced his plan for an Operation American Spring, he sought to evoke the same kind of populist uprising that toppled regimes in the Middle East, protests that were collectively given the moniker Arab Spring.

And while the photos that poured in from Tahrir Square were incredible, depicting tens of thousands of people in the streets, the pictures from American Spring were…less so:

OAS_WhiteHouse
OAS_WashMon

The “second American revolution” got off to a slow start in Washington, DC on Friday, falling roughly 9,999,950 people short of their goal of 10 million angry, constitution-wielding participants. (That was the low-end estimate. They were prepared for upwards of 30 million).

The few who did make it to Washington, D.C came with a laundry list of grievances, ranging from Benghazi, to Obamacare, to President Obama’s birth certificate, to general lawlessness.

“Our main goal is to return our government to the constitutional government,” said Marty Church, a protestor who traveled to Washington, D.C from the Maryland suburbs. “The whole administration is based on lies,” added Fred Lachance, another protester from Maryland.

“Benghazi’s a lie and a cover-up,” said Church. “And if you’re lying about something as stupid as that, what else are you lying about?”

Wiley Drake, a pastor and talk radio host from California, knows the truth behind the Benghazi coverup.

“What caused Benghazi was a kidnapping gone awry from Barry Soetoro,” he said, referencing the name Birthers have ascribed to Obama based on a widely-circulated (and hastily photoshopped) Columbia University student ID. “He was going to kidnap Mr. Stevens, and he got killed in the process. That’s what really happened, that’s the truth.”

When pressed to cite other breaches of the constitution, one protestor referred us back to Operation American Spring’s website, which offers little more than an outline of the group’s three-phased mission (Phase 2 calls for 1 million of the 10 million gathered to camp out in Washington, D.C. until their demands are met).

Those demands — removing Obama, Biden and Nancy Pelosi from the federal government — are not achievable ones even according to many of the attendees. “It’s a good goal, but it’s not a realistic goal,” said Lachance. Others, though, were more optimistic.

“The Obama administration is lawless, and we want him out,” said Carrie “Beth” Koncar, who led a small group up from Georgia. “And basically that is the goal here, for the resignation of Obama, Biden, Pelosi. The Lord God is behind this, the Lord is the breath in this. He puts kings and kingdoms in their places, and he takes them down.”

As for the paltry turnout, several attendees could barely contain their dismay at the low-key affair. “I took a day off from work to come down,” said Art Skillman. “Where they are, I don’t know.”

Source: WILL FREEMANABIGAIL BESSLER, AND ADAM PECK for ThinkProgress

This is such an epic fail…

If they think God is behind this “uprising”, would the low turnout then be God’s way of saying “Shut the fuck up and go away”?

Good question.

"Let’s face it, Fox. You’ll miss me when I’m gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary is from Kenya."

— President Obama (via kileyrae)

(via theoneandonlyjarrett)

Tags: obama kenya funny

marcoslefthalf:

you dont have to agree with his policies but you have to admit hes the coolest president weve had ever

(Source: bluedogeyes, via noregretsasuva)

Tags: Obama

kohenari:

Why aren’t there photos of more presidents reading to children? Did previous presidents not read to children as much as Obama does? Or were they simply not as good at it?

There should be a Tumblr for this. And they should all be reading “Where The Wild Things Are.”

(Source: buzzfeedpolitics)

breakingnews:

President Obama meets Pope Francis
NBC News: President Obama has met with Pope Francis at the Vatican for the 1st time during his trip across Europe and the Middle East. Pope Francis and President Obama shook hands and smiled warmly in front of cameras. “Thank you, it’s so nice to see you, good to see ya,” Obama repeated before the two men sat down for a meeting.
Photo: Pope Francis and President Obama meet at the Vatican (video still via NBC News)

breakingnews:

President Obama meets Pope Francis

NBC News: President Obama has met with Pope Francis at the Vatican for the 1st time during his trip across Europe and the Middle East.

Pope Francis and President Obama shook hands and smiled warmly in front of cameras. “Thank you, it’s so nice to see you, good to see ya,” Obama repeated before the two men sat down for a meeting.

Photo: Pope Francis and President Obama meet at the Vatican (video still via NBC News)

Tags: news obama pope

Brilliant!

(Source: mattsgifs, via wolvensnothere)

Tags: Obama

carnivaloftherandom:

mshoneysucklepink:

And then they have the GALL to spin it and say “See, Obamacare is screwing you over, we’re the poorest state and they’re charging us the highest premiums.” It’s because YOU TURNED DOWN THE MONEY.

Dear Gov. Corbett: Go fuck yourself. - No love, residents of Pennsylvania. (incl. Me.) 

(Source: drunkonstephen)

politicalprof:

Just some quick thoughts. If you’re a Republican, this stuff needs to scare you to death.

  • Obama did particularly well among women, and of course many female candidates were elected (most Democrats).
  • Marriage equality won in four states and recreational marijuana won in two. The old politics of…

thanks for four more years, an ode to despair!

(channeling my inner Stephen Colbert/Bill Maher love child, “Stephen Maher”; tongue firmly in cheek)

thanks!

to the geeks, the freaks, and especially the weak;

to the fag hags with their Gucci bags;

to the crazies, the lazies, the homeless men and women

tipping the election blue so they can enjoy four

more years of the bliss that is poverty;

to the gays trying to raise our kids to be perverts

and have sex with animals and aliens and designer shoes,

while priests sing the blues and rape boys in back rooms;

to the Muslims coming door to door to tell us more

about their man Allah, asking for a dollar, and offering us that

lil booklet called the “Watch Minaret”, aka, the Obama “Bible;

to the cranks in houses of lordly pranks, casting their

righteous flock against the zeitgeist of the Anti-Christ;

to the union and their ill-gotten ilk, sipping mocha lattes heavy

with milk, the assembly line purrs along dropping seventy-ton

armored boxes onto highways and byways, powered by owls;

to the coal miners - no whiners - marching into the darkness for

another day of black lung so the terrorists don’t win, a sin;

to the corporate raiders in their waders, fishing for trout

while all about them companies are sold for parts by old farts

so women in China can work for pennies in a shop non-stop;

to the chicks with dicks, the she-males and split tails, the

trans-thoughtful, the awful that have fallen from the path of God;

to the blacks, the illegals making tracks, finding a cozy ghetto,

a pimpin’ barrio, where they can rob rich white kids whose GPSs

cause driving messes, easy pickings for the upwardly-mobile thug;

to the clueless white folk who’ll now choke on their votes,

it denotes a lack of FOX News knowledge, drop-outs from college,

and an aversion to certain perversions, namely the Right path;

to the dishonorable, the intolerable, the heartless, the smartless,

the worthless, penniless, and sweetheartless, the lonely souls

smoking bowls, who lost the day and opened the way to four

more years of a brighter day.

thanks!

politicalprof:

Just because. Obama’s team does “One Day More,” 2008.

ht: Dan Froomkin

"

I am not writing to you as a black #voter, or a #woman voter, or as a voter who is over 70 years old and six feet tall. I am writing to you as a representative of this great country — as an American.

It is your job to vote. It is your responsibility, your right, and your privilege. You may be pretty or plain, heavy or thin, gay or straight, poor or rich.

But remember this: In an election, every voice is equally powerful — don’t underestimate your vote. Voting is the great equalizer.

Voting has already begun in some states that President Obama needs to win. So please use this handy tool to make sure your friends in those key states know where to cast their ballot. You will be doing them a great favor.

As a country, we can scarcely perceive the magnitude of our progress.

My grandmother and my uncle experienced circumstances that would break your heart. When they went to vote, they were asked impossible questions like, “How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” When they couldn’t answer, they couldn’t vote.

I once debated with the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. about whether an African American would ever be elected president. He believed it would happen within the next 40 years at the time — I believed it would never happen within my lifetime.

I have never been happier to have been proven wrong.

And since President Barack Obama’s historic election, we’ve moved forward in courageous and beautiful ways. More students can afford college, and more families have access to affordable health insurance. Women have greater opportunities to get equal pay for equal work.

Yet as Rev. King wrote, “All progress is precarious.”

So don’t sit on the sidelines. Don’t hesitate. Don’t have any regrets. Vote.

"

From an Obama campaign email by MAYA ANGELOU.

Vote.

(Source: inothernews)

Tags: vote Obama